NSFW for sound, but funny.

New Line rules. That is all.

It can't come out soon enough.

MI:3? X-3? The new Potter?

Hell no.

It's already awesome.

Arrr.

Fight the RIAA~!

Patti Santangelo is a mom with 5 kids being sued for downloading music because a friend of one of her kids loaded Kazaa onto her computer and was DL'ing stuff without anyone in the house knowing. She's completely computer illiterate, but she's not caving in to the Big Four, and now they're suing her for big bucks.

Click the link over there on the right to give to her defense fund.

New pictures.

Maybe content soon. Who can tell these days?

She's such a little lady.

Milla, fire your agent. Seriously.

So, Ultraviolet.

Oh, my God, what utter incomprehensible crap. Well-CGI'ed crap, but crap nonetheless. I could run down the plot, but I'd need to do a flowchart, and frankly, I don't have the space for that, so basically, it's like this. Milla's a vampire, but she's good. Cameron Bright is a creepy little kid(much like his character in Birth) who might have the key to wiping out the vampires in his blood. Or maybe it's the key to wiping out humanity. By the 45-minute mark, my brain had shut down and all I was doing was enjoying the ridiculous CGI fight and chase scenes and wondering if we were going to see Milla's breasts.(We did not.)

The only other recognizable face in the film is William Fichtner, who gets to play a nice character for once, so that was good. The action sequences are thrilling, but ultimately, as my boy SubFab said, it's more like cut scenes with no video game. According to the IMDb geeks, director Kurt Wimmer, who also inflicted the equally incomprehensible and CGI-heavy Equilibrium on us, had his final cut taken away and the film was stripped of half an hour. While I'm idly curious to know if it helps the movie make any more sense, I think the 88-odd minutes that the movie runs is more than enough. When the best part of a movie is the opening credit sequence, an entertaining collection of supposed Ultraviolet comic book covers, you have to wonder why they bothered.

I can only hope that V For Vendetta turns out better.

This is phenomenal.

Photoshop what other movies would be like if created by the creators of "Snakes On A Plane".

I can't wait to see Snakes On A Plane. It's guaranteed to be already awesome.

R.I.P. Kirby Puckett.

Dead from a stroke at 44. He was a damn good ballplayer, and he shouldn't have had to retire when he did.

MINNEAPOLIS -- Kirby Puckett died Monday, a day after the Hall of Fame outfielder had a stroke at his Arizona home, a hospital spokeswoman said. He was 44.

Puckett died at St. Joseph's Hospital and Medical Center in Phoenix, Kimberly Lodge said. He had been in intensive care since having surgery at another hospital following his stroke Sunday morning.

Puckett carried the Twins to World Series titles in 1987 and 1991 before his career was cut short by glaucoma. His family, friends and former teammates gathered at the hospital throughout Monday.

The hospital said Puckett was given last rites and died in the afternoon.

"On behalf of Major League Baseball, I am terribly saddened by the sudden passing of Kirby Puckett," baseball commissioner Bud Selig said. "He was a Hall of Famer in every sense of the term.

"He played his entire career with the Twins and was an icon in Minnesota. But he was revered throughout the country and will be remembered wherever the game is played. Kirby was taken from us much too soon -- and too quickly," he said.

The buoyant, barrel-shaped Puckett broke into the majors in 1984 and had a career batting average of .318. Glaucoma forced the six-time Gold Glove center fielder and 10-time All-Star to retire when he went blind in his right eye.

"This is a sad day for the Minnesota Twins, Major League Baseball and baseball fans everywhere," Twins owner Carl Pohlad said.

Well, I didn't expect that.

I definitely didn't expect Crash to win Best Picture. I mean, it's a damn good movie, but it was the kind of year where you just expected the gay cowboys eating pudding to win the whole damn thing. Of course, I also didn't expect "It's Hard Out There For A Pimp" to win either, so there you go.

They should definitely have Jon Stewart back again next year, though. He was aces.

Quickie Oscar picks:

Brokeback
Ang Lee
Philip Seymour Hoffman
Reese Witherspoon
Crash (orig screenplay)
Brokeback (adapted)
Wallace and Gromit (animated film)

And Jon Stewart will tell at least one joke to anger Bill O'Reilly.

Holy crap...

...did Jeff Lacy get the crap beaten out of him tonight. Joe Calzaghe just absolutely destroyed him in a 12-round decision that was never even close to close. I assumed that Lacy would just beat Calzaghe's ass, but I didn't expect that Lacy would never even show up. The pre-fight commentary made a big deal out of the fact that they were fighting live at 2:30 A.M. local time in Manchester, and that Lacy was rested while Calzaghe was nervous. Could have fooled me, since Calzaghe pretty much dominated the fight from the opening bell. So much for Lacy going after Jermaine Taylor, though he may need to go down to 160 after that asswhooping.

Also saw the replay of Vargas-Mosley from last Saturday's HBO PPV. Pretty decent fight, though the finish wasn't much in doubt after about the second round or so, since Vargas's right eye pretty much swelled up like a balloon right after the first. Vargas did manage to get it going for a while, but the eye just kept swelling, and by the end of 8, it was all but closed. Vargas managed to soldier on into the tenth, but Joe Cortez saw enough and TKO'ed Vargas in the tenth. Decent fight overall, but Mosley looked a little rough, and Vargas probably would have scratched out a decision if it weren't for the eye.

Two weeks out is Hasim Rahman/James Toney, and that ought to be, ahem, "entertaining". But then in early April, we get Floyd Mayweather and Zab Judah, which might be interesting.

(I'm going to try and post more. Really.)