Friday, April 01, 2005

The vagaries of memory.

I've written at some length about my wasted cable television childhood. If it was a shitty movie playing on HBO, Showtime or the Movie Channel between 1981 and 1988 or so, I probably saw it. A substantial portion of my cerebrum was eaten away by such classic films as Pandemonium, National Lampoon's Class Reunion, The Burning, and Jekyll and Hyde... Together Again. For the last four months, I've been working at Best Video. One thing that's great about Best is that they almost never sell anything off, so they've got a ton of out of print stuff, and stuff that probably won't ever get released on DVD. Now, I may be a hardcore widescreen and Dolby freak, but I still have a love for the terrible movies I watched on the cable before I knew any better.

That said, however, Jekyll and Hyde unfortunately failed to live up to my memory of it. Mark Blankfield is Henry Jekyll, brilliant surgeon and all around super moral guy, who plans to give up surgery for research. He's also engaged to the daughter of his boss, the head of his hospital. Right off the bat, you can tell what kind of movie you're in for; the name of the hospital is "Our Lady Of Pain and Suffering". Anyway, Jekyll's boss wants him to do one more operation, the world's first "total transplant", on billionaire Hubert Howes(who, of course, is a recluse with long hair and beard). The boss threatens Jekyll, who is a wimp and as mentioned, a supermoral standup guy. Jekyll is working on a drug to release man's animal instinct for survival which would eliminate surgery. (Three guesses, and the first two don't count, what the drug looks like. Remember, it's 1982.)

Jekyll meets Ivy, a young punky (in-the-Hollywood-not-really-punk-way) girl and helps her out of a sight gag. After taking care of her, he goes back to his lab, and has an accident, creating the proper formula for his drug(but not realizing it) when he spills two of his formulas together. After accidentally snorting his drug while sleeping, he transforms into Hyde(who, appropriate for the age, has gold chains, rings, a gold tooth, an open shirt with chest hair, and an extra long pinky fingernail for snorting). Hyde is, of course, the manifestation of Jekyll's id, who seems only interested in nailing Ivy.

Eventually, as in all the other versions, the monster gets out of hand. Jekyll wins a research prize and Hyde goes to England to collect. After a gratuitious celebrity (well, it's George Chakiris, for what that's worth) appearance and a gratuitious and terrible musical number, the movie makes one witty and well done turn, switching to black and white for an extended chase scene, before switching back at the end. In the end, Jekyll and Hyde decide to coexist, with Ivy and Jekyll's fiancee(Bess Armstrong playing spoiled undersexed blonde) agreeing to share him.

As mentioned, the film does not live up to my memory of it from the cable days. I remembered it more as a sex farce, with nudity and such. It actually is a broad drug comedy, with the nudity restrained to a fake breast sight gag and one other quick nipple flash(though it's Cassandra "Elvira" Peterson's, so that's something). In fact, if it weren't for some of the raunchy dialogue and the heavy drug content, it's probably a PG-13 at best. And it's really not as funny as I remembered it. There are some moments that are quite amusing, but it plays as a more retarded version of Airplane or Top Secret. And boy, is it dated. Besides Hyde's late 70's disco look, there's a sequence set in a video arcade with the expected sight gags(parents trying to drag a kid away from a game; a bride waiting while her groom plays), and Ivy fronts a "punk" band that's more like a sort of cheesy skinny-tie New Wave band. Mostly, it's a collection of sight gags and absurd dialogue that goes flat.

I watched this on VHS. It's not on DVD, and I don't really expect it to be, though Paramount has said they're going to be releasing a lot more stuff. But the framing seems to be fairly even, without a lot of panning and scanning looking for gags. This is probably because Jerry Belson, the director, was more of a TV guy(wrote for Mary Tyler Moore, created the TV version of The Odd Couple). He only did one other theatrical movie(1987's Surrender, a romantic comedy with Sally Field and Michael Caine), and it's probably just as well.

Don't bother unless it happens to be on the cable some night when there's nothing else on.

A few things.

Firstly, R.I.P Frank Perdue, Terri Schiavo, Clive McLean, and Mitch Hedberg. And the Pope appears to be on his way out as well.

I could say a lot of things about the Schiavo case, but I don't like to do politics on this blog, so I'll just say this. Get yourself a living will and agree on durable power of attorney. It'll save you a lot of heartache and political and religious nonsense down the line.

I'm going to start blogging more regularly, and the blog is going to be more of a movie review blog in the future, as I've realized something. I work in a video store that carries an amazing amount of junk from my cable TV days, so in order to work through my writer's block on the novel, I thought I'd review some old stuff. First up, which will be posted tonight, is "Jekyll and Hyde: Together Again", a scattershot 1983 comedy, not as good as I remembered.

Baseball starts Sunday, and unfortunately for me, the Yanks and Sox are on ESPN at the same time as Wrestlemania. Three guesses which one I'll be watching and the first two don't count.

More later.