Illumination comes so hard...

*Warning - whiny LJ-style post ahead*

A couple of days ago I realized something. For the last eight months, I pretty much froze one of the best friends I've ever had out of my life.

I was dumb to do this.

Background: my friend and his wife appeared(hell, they were a pair of signatures away) to be on the way to divorce. This divorce would also affect me, because my wife and I live in a two family house with them. As a result, I was forced(well, not really, but it's the most logical situation) into accepting my father-in-law's offer to build an extension onto their house. This has caused some friction in my marriage, among other factors. (My wife's diabetes, and her lack of responsibility about it, has a lot to do with it also.)

So rather then being a normal human being, and talking to my friend about this, I chose to freeze him out. Irrationally, I chose to blame him directly for all the stresses that I was putting on my own self.(This move is going to be very expensive for me, though having my wife back with her parents, who can keep a better eye on her diet and such, is a good thing. Plus her mom can watch Laura, so my wife can go get a job and contribute to the family income.)

I also felt marginalized by the fact that he'd found a bunch of hip new friends, though that apparently turned out bad for him. I felt like the only thing I was good for was the once-a-month hangout for PPV, and that I was no longer part of his crowd. (Never mind that I don't have a lot of time in my own schedule for social time.)

As a result, I treated him like dogshit for the better part of a year, and I feel bad for that. Sorry, bro, mea culpa. (Things are better now, by the way, at least on that front.)