I didn't know we'd ordered a horror movie instead of Judgement Day...
Holy sheepdip, as my friend Guthrie would say. By the end of the Main Event, Eddie Guerrero looked like he'd just walked out of a Fulci film. He took a massive chairshot from Bradshaw, then bladed as though he was Mass Transit. By the end, we were wondering if they were going to hit the finish before Eddie passed out from blood loss.
The PPV, taken on its own merits without considering the storyline implications, wasn't as bad as expected. RVD and Rey beat the Dudleys when Rey hit a 619 on both Dudz at the same time then RVD finished with the 5 Star. Decent opener. Mordecai made his debut, complete with cheesy entrance, and made short work of Scotty 2 Hotty, though not the squash I expected. He resembles Matthias Hues, a B-Movie actor from the 90's who was in "I Come In Peace" with Dolph Lundgren. Torrie Wilson beat Dawn Marie when Dawn Marie suffered a wardrobe malfunction, though not really of the Janet Jackson variety. Chavo Guerrero cheated his way back to the Cruiserweight belt, thankfully killing the two week reign of Jacqueline.(Could we just sort of forget this happened now?) Rico and Charlie Haas retained their tag belts by beating the team of Bob Holly and Billy Gunn in a decent match. John Cena retained the US title by beating Rene Dupree. The lowlight of the night was certainly Undertaker beating Booker T in a Death vs Voodoo match. Stupid and pointless, and UT's slowly but steadily pissing his legacy away. As mentioned, the ME resembled an abbatoir, as Eddie's Mutoh-level blade job led to the bloodiest match I've seen in WWE not involving Mick Foley. Didn't care for the DQ ending, though, as it means we'll have to sit through another month of the Bradshaw ME experiment.
Overall, on it's own, not a terrible show, but as a storyline-pusher, not so great.
The PPV, taken on its own merits without considering the storyline implications, wasn't as bad as expected. RVD and Rey beat the Dudleys when Rey hit a 619 on both Dudz at the same time then RVD finished with the 5 Star. Decent opener. Mordecai made his debut, complete with cheesy entrance, and made short work of Scotty 2 Hotty, though not the squash I expected. He resembles Matthias Hues, a B-Movie actor from the 90's who was in "I Come In Peace" with Dolph Lundgren. Torrie Wilson beat Dawn Marie when Dawn Marie suffered a wardrobe malfunction, though not really of the Janet Jackson variety. Chavo Guerrero cheated his way back to the Cruiserweight belt, thankfully killing the two week reign of Jacqueline.(Could we just sort of forget this happened now?) Rico and Charlie Haas retained their tag belts by beating the team of Bob Holly and Billy Gunn in a decent match. John Cena retained the US title by beating Rene Dupree. The lowlight of the night was certainly Undertaker beating Booker T in a Death vs Voodoo match. Stupid and pointless, and UT's slowly but steadily pissing his legacy away. As mentioned, the ME resembled an abbatoir, as Eddie's Mutoh-level blade job led to the bloodiest match I've seen in WWE not involving Mick Foley. Didn't care for the DQ ending, though, as it means we'll have to sit through another month of the Bradshaw ME experiment.
Overall, on it's own, not a terrible show, but as a storyline-pusher, not so great.
posted by Jon M. at
11:00 PM
2 Comments:
Like everyone says after seeing the results, it looks like it wasn't as bad as we all thought it would be.
Woohoo, I got the Scotty II Hotty pick right!!!
"..but you go in peaces."
(That film and Dream On are, without a doubt, Brian Benben's finest moments. Dream On should be on DVD. It rocked, and if it wasn't for that show, there'd have been no Sex In The City. Hmmm..on second thought...)
I'm more than famous; I'm IN famous! Thanks, Muggs.
Eddie vs. Dennis: only the Vince vs. Gunga Din Jr. match featured more gore. Completely unexpected, and I have a new respect for Eddie.
Ultimate Rico and Luke Perry vs. Buff Blond Homophobes:
Yeah, great. Woo. Sure glad I saw this one. It changed my life.
Chavo vs. Jackie: Yep. Another match that makes me think, aloud this time: Why won't these squidheaded monkeylickers hire Muggs and I to script things?
"Chavo Classic"? They're...they're NOT kidding, are they?
Rey/Rob vs. the Dudleyz: so much potential. Two teams that should make seismographs misfire every time they're even mentioned...and they gave us oatmeal. Sure, the ending was the raisins, but oatmeal nonetheless.
DM vs. Torrie: that was great. I'd much rather see DM's tailgate than Janet's headlight anyway.
Cena vs. Frog Boy: I did NOT expect the level of commitment that Dupree displayed. Not a bad match, really. Better than expected.
Taker vs. Booker: Did anyone CARE about this match? I felt that the characters were poorly delineated. These guys are "eye" actors, just as Richie Gere is an "eyebrow" actor. Rolling them back into your head, or bugging them out at random intervals, does not deliver the same pathos as a decent soliloquy or the intense physical acting ability of the true greats.
Not-Lesnar vs. Not-Talented: If it WAS Brock, he did a great job. If it WASN'T Brock, it was Ron Simmons making a comeback play.
(OF COURSE I'M KIDDING; Ron Simmons is Dawn Marie's costume designer now). It was nice to see Brock take a new spin; he has a charisma that should sell this character nicely, and if he can temper his enthusiasm with the common sense of sell/don't shoot, this kid has years of quality work ahead. Of course, the writers will ruin this.
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